On Subway Commercials

"Where's that fucking smug monkey?!"

Resents Canines

"Fucking talking dogs....they're taking over the world."

That Italian Place on King

Richard: What's the name of that nice Italian place on King street in Waterloo that we used to go to?

Amy: Ennio's?

Richard: Yeah, Ennio's! Remember that place, Tom?

Tom: I've never been there.

Richard: Oh...well...it must have been my other family I went there with...you know...bin Laden's guys...

Amy: Terrorists?

Tom: Al Qaida?

Richard: Yeah, them.

....wtf.

On Fried Potatoes

"You want some? They're nice and greasy!"

How Dare They!

"Those fucking piece of shit assholes didn't fucking air Deadwood last night! I wait all week for that show...it's fucking bullshit. You can't trust anyone in television!"

On Shapes

"There's something magical about circles."

Nondescript

"I used to wake up the next morning and put my tongue to the roof of my mouth and I could still taste it."